


set my world aflame (watch me burn).

by we_are_just_bad_code



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, but also a bit of Jul's POV cause i had to explore that lil head as well, idk how to tag this but they're gay and in love ok, val's POV mainly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 15:57:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_are_just_bad_code/pseuds/we_are_just_bad_code
Summary: Before she can notice, their whole world is crashing down and burning, tumbling around them, weighing on them, and she doesn’t know if she can hold it up long enough to stop Val from being crushed by it.





	set my world aflame (watch me burn).

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is only slightly divergent from canon as it basically follows the main scenes of juliantina's relationship and fills some of the in-betweens. Hope you enjoy it! :)

The sun has already left the sky, hid away behind the distant horizon, when Valentina finds herself scrolling absentmindedly on her phone. Her thoughts keep running back to Juliana, to the way her hand fits so well with her own, as if their fingers had been fashioned in the shape of each other; to her light touches, to how they always seemed to set her skin on fire, igniting something deep inside her that made her never want to leave Juliana’s side.

Val lets out a shaky breath as her mind wonders to their last kiss. Oh, how she wishes she could just leave everything and everyone behind for a while, escape from every problem that keeps insisting on finding her and just _be_ with Juls.

Valentina shakes her head and giggles as she contemplates the way she longs for Juliana. She still doesn’t know how the other girl can turn her into such a mess, but she isn’t complaining. After all, it’s in the middle of all the chaos turned up by her feelings that she finds this odd sense of certainty, this instinct that tells her that even though everything seems out of place, as if all the pieces of her life’s puzzle are scattered throughout an infinite amount of space, Juliana is the one piece that fits into its rightful spot, that feels just _right_.

Val’s fingers are drawing away random patterns on her arm as Juliana likes to do when her phone’s screen lights up and the text message Valentina had been hoping to receive all evening pops up.

_Still want me to come over?_

Valentina’s lips immediately curl into a silly grin as she rushes to reply.

_I always want you (to come over)._

She locks a loose strand of hair behind her ear and nibbles at her lower lip as she waits for a response. Suddenly, a loud ring from the doorbell echoes through the wide living room, snapping Valentina out of her daze and she curses whoever is on the other side of the heavy wooden door. Still, she walks up to the hallway and opens the door, ready to turn away whoever it is, before she has a chance to notice it is the person she had been dying to see all day who’s standing in front of her.

“Panchito showed up and I could escape. Thought I might surprise you,” Juliana giggles at Valentina’s sudden taken aback expression as she feels the other girl’s eyes running over her in astonishment before her gaze gets clouded with a soft eagerness that displays her excitement.

“The only thing I could think about was seeing you,” Valentina admits after drawing Juliana in for a short-lived, however comforting, hug. “Thank you for coming.” Juliana gives her an understanding smile that says ‘don’t thank me, I couldn’t wait to see you either’ and that’s all Val needs to take one of her hands and softly stroke it between her own before suggesting they go up to her room.

As they climb up the short flight of stairs that lead to the upper floor, Valentina allows herself to watch Juliana out of the corner of her eye. She finds the contentment in Juls’ grin and the determined, however delicate, way she holds her hand to ground her as if she’s the one thing capable of stopping her from being blown away at any moment.

Juliana meets her eyes, noticing she’s being observed and gives Valentina a knowing smile, as if her diverting her gaze away from the wooden steps to look at Val had been to contemplate her as well, to immerse herself in the marvels of Valentina Carvajal.

Val lets out a flustered giggle as she realizes she’s been caught staring for too long. She doesn’t feel embarrassed, however. After all, in Juliana’s eyes she finds the wonders of a thousand galaxies, how could she be ashamed of trying to take in all their glamor?

“What?” Juliana asks proposedly.

“Nothing, nothing,” Valentina rushes to reply, running her thumb reassuringly across the back of Juls’ hand. Juliana raises her eyebrow smugly causing Val to sigh.

“It’s just that- you’re just so-,” Valentina manages to chuckle as she runs her hand through her hair as if that’d help the sudden heat she feels on her cheeks.

Juliana halts them to a stop once they’re in front of Valentina’s room and uses her free hand to softly caress Val’s cheek, locking her gaze with Valentina’s as she does so. “También me encantas,” she whispers, in that soft way that makes Valentina’s heart tremble, bringing their foreheads close together.

“How do you always know what to say?” Val asks, amused at how the other girl always seems to know what’s on her mind and just how to express it.

“I just follow my heart,” Juliana replies, mentally frowning at herself for how cheesy she sounds, eliciting a laugh from Valentina. “I didn’t use to. Follow my heart I mean. But around you I just can’t help it,” she admits, pulling Valentina impossibly closer and brushing a lose strand of hair behind her ear. 

Right there, with her lips parted, itching to close the small distance that separated them from Juliana’s, Val swears if Juls was an ocean she’d be happy to let herself drown. After all, breathing in Juliana always made her feel more alive.

Valentina softly leads Juliana into the safety of her room, aching to bury herself in the warmth of Juls’ embrace, in the tenderness of her touch. She closes the door behind her and looks Juliana in eyes. She hesitates before lifting her hand to let it run through Juls’ hair, the tip of her fingers finding the edge of Juliana’s shirt and nervously fumbling with it before decisively pushing it off Juls’s shoulders, letting it fall of the floor. She feels Juliana watching her as she caresses her now exposed shoulders and studies her skin as if in it she could find the most incredible treasures.

Juliana raises her hand to brush away a strand of Val’s hair, forcing her to finally look up at the woman in front of her. She takes a deep breath to steady herself and runs her tongue over her lips. She can’t help but smile when Juliana takes off her light coat, quiet determination shimmering in her eyes. Val knows there’s a small bit of impatience in Juls movements, as if she had been waiting for this moment for a long time, even if she didn’t realize it; she knows it ‘cause she feels it too. However, she can also sense a certain amount of restraint, a longing for this small fraction of time to last as long as possible, here, where they can devote each second to each other, away from the rest of the world.

Valentina’s smile widens as she takes in all that is Juliana, the delicate crook of her neck, the way the light hits her deep brown eyes, making them shine like a thousand suns.

“You always smell so good, how do you do it?” Val chuckles softly, eliciting a laugh out of Juliana. “And your skin, it’s so soft,” she continues, giggling shyly, unaware of how her nervous ramble over some little parts of Juliana makes the other girl feel like she’s flying.

Before she can notice, their foreheads are pressed together, their lips almost touching. Valentina can almost taste Juls in the way the feeling of her breath hitting her skin tingles, but before she can close the distance between them, Juliana moves slightly away.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m nervous,” Juliana replies, looking away from Val.

“Me too,” Valentina admits, bringing their foreheads close once again and giving Juls’ hand a comforting squeeze with which she tries to say ‘ _it’s okay, it’s just me’_. Val’s heart flutters when, nevertheless, Juliana says she doesn’t want to stop, sounding as sure of herself as ever. Between offering her lover shy smiles and being intoxicated by Juliana being so close to her, Valentina has an idea and tugs at Juliana’s hand, motioning for her to follow her as she walks backwards into the bathroom, sheepish grin on her face, looking at Juliana as if she hang the stars in the sky for her every night.

Opening the water tap of the shower, Valentina presses her lips together in anticipation. The girls’ laughs echo through the room, muffled by the sound of the water hitting the shower’s floor. Juliana gives her that one smile she has reserved just for her and Valentina swears she’d be okay with the world ending right there and then.

Amidst timid touches and warm glances, Val finds the courage to let her hands wonder to uncharted territories, the tips of her fingers playing with the hem of Juls’ top, before pulling it over the girl’s head. As hard as she tries, Val can’t help but let her gaze fall from Juliana’s eyes to her chest, to every part of her body that is now exposed. As Val traces random patterns throughout Juliana’s neck and collarbones, Juls’ skin gets prickled with goosebumps and somehow Val knows they’re not due to the cold midnight air.

Before she can notice, they’re both in their underwear, stepping under the hot water that falls from above, their hands unable to move away from each other’s bodies, touching each other ever so carefully.

It’s in between the softest of embraces, the lightest of touches that Valentina throws caution to the wind and runs her thumb over Juliana’s bottom lip. She feels Juls pulling her in, drawing her nearer, eyes closed as if she’s trying to savour that moment as best as she can, and when their lips finally meet, Val feels nothing like she once thought she would when kissing someone; it’s not fireworks, her mind doesn’t go blank and her heart doesn’t skip a beat; No, she’s overcome with this sense of certainty that makes the rest of the world fade away, her chest tingles as if she’s about to burst out laughing and her heart feels so full that she thinks it will explode.

When the sound of her heavy breathing is replaced by gentle moans that echo through the air, Val digs her nails in Juliana’s back, itching to be as close to her as possible, needing to feel her, all of her. As Juliana’s fingers press deep inside her, Val hides her face in the crook of her neck, smiling against her skin and she knows she’s home.

***

Valentina wakes up slowly, hair splayed on her pillow, as her bedroom is filled with sunlight. Refusing to open her eyes, Val buries herself in the warmth of Juliana’s body, pulling her closer, tightening her hold against her waist as a content smile makes its way to her lips. As if they have a mind of their own, Val’s fingers start lazily combing through Juls’ hair as she presses soft kisses to the back of her neck.

She thinks she doesn’t know how it is possible for someone to look so beautiful while they’re sleeping, well, except she does; this is Juliana, she’s always beautiful, no matter what she’s doing.

Val’s mind runs back to that day in the pool where her heart felt so light as she was floating besides Juls, their hands grasped together, and when they had come to stand in front of one another, Juliana was just _breathtaking_ and Valentina hadn’t been able to stop herself from just bringing herself closer, from satiating that thirst she had had for Juliana’s lips for longer than she would like to admit.

Looking back at that memory, Valentina is so glad she had pushed past all the fear and insecurities that threated to stop her from kissing Juliana, all the little “what ifs” and not so quiet voices in the back of her mind that said what she wanted with Juls was wrong. How could she have ever thought loving the girl in the arms was wrong?

 “Te quiero mucho,” she whispers, tracing random patterns on Juliana’s skin, taking comfort in the way they fit so well together, as if they completed each other, made each other whole.

“Hey,” Juliana mumbles, voice heavy with sleep, startling Valentina as she intertwines their fingers, stroking the back of Val’s hand with her thumb.

“Oh, you’re awake!”

“Yeah, Val,” Juliana chuckles, kissing Val’s hand, before turning around so they’re face to face. “Did you sleep well?” She asks innocently, locking a strand of Valentina’s hair behind her ear.

“I slept better than I have in a while, thanks to you,” Valentina replies, stroking Juls’ cheek with her thumb, losing herself in the softness of Juls’ gaze. “I wish we could just stay here, forever,” she drifts off, giving a voice to that part of herself that wants them to just stay right there, in their little bubble, protected from everything that’s outside those four walls.

“Me too,” Juliana gives a bittersweet smiles, the one that says she understands the slight sadness in Valentina’s tone, despite how content she is that they even get to be there, beneath the covers of Valentina’s bed, legs tangled together in harmony. “Maybe I should go,” she considers, sitting up and running her hand over her hair as if that would help her sober up from the high that is lying next to Valentina.

“No, don’t go,” Val pleads with such tenderness, not wanting the afterglow of the previous night to fade just yet; not wanting to be left alone in a bed that will feel too big, too empty and too cold without Juliana in it.

“Val, what if someone walks in?”

“No, no one is coming in,” Valentina reassures her, propping herself up on her elbows, ignoring the fact she’s basically begging for Juliana to stay now. “Stay with me, please,” she whispers, leaning her head on Juliana’s shoulder, not knowing how to put into words just how much she longs for Juls’ presence, for her touch, for her love.

And how could Juliana say no; after all she has never felt so _wanted_ , and it makes her heart clench in the most pleasant of ways, even when she can’t completely push the worry of being caught to the back of her mind and the look Valentina gives her makes her feel so naked, so vulnerable, as if the gentlest of pushes could send her tumbling over an edge that is far too high. So she rests her head on Valentina’s own, running her fingers up and down her arm and silently promises she’ll never leave.

***

The morning they get to enjoy in bed together feels too short, as if when they’re together the clock ticks by faster, a signal of the universe itself trying to rob them of the one little thing they never get enough of: time. And although this morning they can, technically, choose to stay hidden away in Valentina’s room for all eternity, Juliana’s stomach starts grumbling a bit before lunch time and Valentina can’t help but laugh at her and insist they get up so she can feed her girlfriend.

It still feels weird saying that word, not that she’s ever said it out loud; but after the previous night Val feels pretty confident in calling Juliana _that_ in her head as she tries not to let herself dwell on how she gets to watch Juliana slip from under _her_ sheets and walk over to _her_ closet, pick some of _her_ clothes to wear for the day, all while watching her closely, as if she’s afraid if she looks away she’ll miss something terribly important, like the smile Juliana flashes her through the mirror or the way her fingers linger on the clothes Val had worn the first time they met.

It’s all so domestic and nice and Val can’t help but smile at Juliana, even when she’s not looking at her, for the whole ride over to the house she hopes will become their little secret place, which will shield them from the cruelty of the world and even their own fears.

And so, when Val offers Juls her hand in the back of the car, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and their fingers intertwine like they’d been dying to be reunited, while resting on Juliana’s thigh, she can’t help but start laughing; she starts laughing at how crazy everything they’re doing is; at how Juliana is laughing alongside her; at how incredibly happy she feels.

“What’s your favourite meal of the day?” Valentina asks innocently, once they’re in setting some groceries at the kitchen counter, after giving Juls a mini tour of the house.

“My favourite meal of the day,” Juliana starts, bringing herself closer to Val to run her fingers through her hair. “Is breakfast,” she finishes, her eyes hovering over Val’s lips hungrily.

“Well, then we know who’s gonna make breakfast in the mornings, when we live together,” Valentina can’t help but smile at that thought. Even if her body moves on its own accord, itching to be closer to Juls, their lips almost coming together, her mind drifts off to a scenario where she gets to wake up next to Juliana every day and her chest tingles pleasantly.

“Qué rápida me saliste huh?” Juliana chuckles, pulling away before their lips meet, smiling at how Val’s mouth chases after hers for a split second.

Even though she won’t voice it, not right now, not when it still feels like they’re living in a fairy tale and sooner or later reality will catch up to them, Juliana vows to do everything in her power to make their shared dream come to be true.

And so she kisses her; takes her in as if Val was the first patch of land Juls sees after being away at sea for too long; she breathes her in, as someone would after reaching the surface and their lungs were about to burst: quickly and all at once.

She’s glad she does so because, before she can notice, their whole world is crashing down and burning, tumbling around them, weighing on them, and she doesn’t know if she can hold it up long enough to stop Val from being crushed by it.

Lucho catching them together is a though blow and the number of times “I’m sorry” falls from Valentina’s lips breaks Juliana’s heart. The girl in her arms loves so fearlessly, so deeply and this is her reward? Blame, earth racking despair? No, she won’t allow it.

“I’m sorry, I know you shouldn’t be going through this, this is my fault,” Val keeps on apologizing, still trying to wrap her head around the gravity of what just happened, on the consequences it will have. Her voice trembles as if she’s about to give in and start crying at any second, but her hand grasps Juliana’s shoulder as she attempts to stay grounded, to focus on what’s important: Juliana.

“No, Val, relax,” Juliana soothes her, forces her to look up to her in hopes her gaze is enough to calm her down, to convey that whatever happens next, she’ll be standing right beside her.

“You know this doesn’t end here, right?” Valentina asks, blue eyes watery as they search for something in Juliana’s she’s not sure she’ll find.

“I know, but you and I are together, okay?”

“Okay,” Valentina nods, sighing in relief as Juliana embraces her, finally able to push to the back of her mind the thought that she’s not worth fighting for. That’s always been one of her greatest fears; that people, and now Juliana, might not find her good enough. Maybe that’s why she apologizes too much, punishes herself too harshly, feels the need to drink to keep herself from screaming to the void that the world has turned itself into until she’s numb.

In the strength of Juls’ arms, however, she feels as safe as she could possibly be now; like no matter what happens she has Juliana; like she won’t be left to fight for them alone. And so, when she feels Juliana wavering, talking about how everything that’s happening is too crazy, how they’re not ready, Val forces herself to swallow down the lump in her throat, pretend she hadn’t seen this coming and remind Juls and herself of how what they have is worth saving. She’s not ready to give up on it, not now, not ever.

“This is the more genuine thing I’ve ever felt in my life,” Val says, not yet daring to turn around and face Juliana, afraid of what she might find laying dormant in her eyes, oblivious to the way Juls is softly smiling at her. “I don’t want to let it go,” she adds, her voice raspy from the tears that sting her eyes.

She had been searching for what she found in Juliana for as long as she could remember; at first with random boys during her time in Canada, where alcohol had numbed her enough for her to pretend what she felt was real; after that, with Lucho, his desire for her messily covering up the lasted sense that something wasn’t quite right.

And now that she found it, now that everything feels like it’s falling into its rightful place, the last thing she wants to do is to turn her back on it. No, she wants to hold it tightly against her chest until it becomes a part of her; grip it firmly, so that no matter what happens it stays with her. She’s not ready to lose it, not ready to lose _her_.

“Are you sure?” Juliana asks, crouching down next to her and Valentina nods, still too scared of looking her lover in the eyes, of finding in them something that will break her, or rather the lack of something that could save her. “Look at me,” Juliana whispers, forcing ocean blue eyes to meet warm brown ones. “If you’re in, I’m in,” she reassures and although Val can feel the secret promise in those words she can’t help but want to make sure.

“Let’s make a deal, yeah?” Valentina asks and waits for the familiar twitch of Juls eyebrow’s before continuing. “No matter what happens, or who comes between us, you and I are together,” she continues, holding out her pinky finger, which is quickly met with Julian’s own. “No one will tear us apart.”

“Pacto.”

“Pacto,” Val breathes out, revelling in the sureness of Juls’ smile as she leans forward, silently jumping her leap of faith, knowing, as soon as their lips meet, that Juliana will always be there to catch her.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is the first thing I've written in ages and I felt very out of practice while doing it. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it and would really appreciate some feedback!
> 
> Come yell at me about Juliantina anytime, I'm on tumblr at [@we-are-just-bad-code](http://we-are-just-bad-code.tumblr.com)


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